Dexter's bachelor party
| "“Bachelor parties. While I do understand the need for ritual, I’ve heard these events aren’t really for the groom. They’re for everyone else.” ~Dexter" |
Bachelor Party Boat is an object and a location in Showtime’s series DEXTER.
It is a chartered party boat where Dexter Morgan’s bachelor party is held.
Season Three[]
During Vince Masuka's frustrations over planning Dexter's bachelor party, Joey Quinn gives him a card for Platinum Enterprises - a party planning business. With only one phone call, it will provide a party boat, food, and alcohol. Quinn advises Masuka to ask for Tammy.
Tammy meets with Masuka at his workplace to decide on a party theme. She mentions the nautical theme - riverboat casino, and pirates in petticoats. Masuka loves the idea so Tammy arranges everything, including the strippers.
On the night of his party, Dexter is kidnapped by an unseen assailant (whom he assumes is Ramon Prado). He is bound and thrown into the trunk of a car. He frees himself and, when a man opens the trunk, he immediately punches him in the face. To his surprise, it is Vince Masuka. A group of guys are gathered around the car, laughing. It turns out that the incident is a misunderstanding, as they had kidnapped Dexter as a prank.
Dexter is taken to his bachelor party which is being held on a nearby party boat. A sign on the dock reads Wet Dreams: Adult Excursions. Masuka, nursing his bruise, informs everyone that there is premium alcohol, an all-you-can-eat buffet, plus high-class adult entertainment. Dexter thinks to himself: “Kill me now.”
Dexter notices Ramon dropping off Miguel Prado to the party, and wonders if Ramon is his designated driver, or his bodyguard. Putting on his “party face, ” Dexter sits in the middle of the room, staring at Miguel who stares back. In short order, Miguel taps his glass to get everyone’s attention.
Miguel’s Speech[]
Miguel: “Okay, okay, let’s get the music down. Okay, boys and girls! Put those packages away, please. So, as you all know, we’re here, uh, to celebrate the impending marriage of our dear friend Dexter.”
[Cheers and applause]
Miguel: “And while my job as best man is to offer a few remarks, you’re gonna have to forgive me for keeping them G-rated, because I’m running for office, after all.”
[Dexter, to himself: “Better run fast”]
Miguel: “Dexter’s a hard guy to get to know. And for a smart guy, sometimes he doesn’t have the good sense that God gave little chickens.”
[Laughter]
Miguel: “I mean, like this donut thing. What’s up with that? You bring donuts to work so that people can like you?"
[Laughter]
Miguel: "Thanks for the diabetes and clogged arteries, Dexter.”
[Laughter"]
Miguel: “I mean, why don’t you just stab a pal in the ventrical, huh?”
[Laughter; Dexter raises his eyebrows approvingly]
Miguel: “But in all seriousness, I, uh...I wanna say a few words about friendship. Friends are always honest with each other. They can see past their differences. When they have a conflict, friends are there to forgive. A true friend...knows when to bury the hatchet because friendship is a sacred bond...built on trust. And, Dex, I have learned so much from you about, uh...trust.”
Miguel ends his speech and toasts Dexter. Though he's smiling, Dexter plans to kill Miguel.
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